So you’ve decided to elope or you’re thinking about eloping, congratulations!! Elopements are so much fun and they really allow you to do whatever you want to make your day special. There are a couple things to consider when planning an elopement so I wanted to put this post together to hopefully make the process a little easier for you if you’re considering eloping.
For a little background, my husband and I eloped a little over a year ago, and after we made the decision, we really didn’t know how to start planning or what we should do. I turned to Google for help, but didn’t really find any articles that gave a step by step guide, so I figured I’d create one.
So, after putting our elopement together, here is my step-by-step guide to planning an elopement! And I hope it helps you plan your special day and make it everything you want it to be! So, let’s get started…
1. Making The Decision
There are many, many reasons elopements are great. Just like there are many, many reasons weddings are great. But there is something special and romantic about eloping, especially if it’s just going to be the two of you. It will always be this special mysterious moment the two of you shared, and there’s just something romantic about that.
Beyond the romance of it, some other reasons to elope are:
- You don’t want to incur the costs of a wedding
- You can’t afford a wedding
- You don’t want a wedding with a bunch of people
- You want something really intimate and special
- You’ve never really wanted to have a wedding
- Just because you want to
Whatever the reason may be, this is a decision for you and your partner to make, so take some time to sit down and just talk through it. Whatever you decide, elopement or wedding, it will be beautiful.
2. Are You Eloping? Or Are You Eloping And Having a Wedding Later?
You may be confused since this article is geared towards eloping, but I wanted to mention this before we get to the rest of the article. Are you eloping? Or are you planning on eloping and also having a wedding?
I bring this up because the possibilities for elopements are endless. You can go to the courthouse, you can go to a National Park, you can fly off to Greece, you can say your vows at the base of a volcano in Hawaii. You can seriously do whatever you want, which is part of what makes elopements so special.
However, if you are going to elope and have a wedding or reception, remember to keep that celebration and those costs in mind as you plan your elopement. You wouldn’t want to overdo it and then realize you took a chunk out of your wedding/reception fund, so just make sure to keep that in mind if you’re planning on having an elopement and another celebration. That’s probably a small group of people, but I wanted to mention it just in case. Now let’s get back to the fun stuff!
3. When Do You Want to Elope?
Now that you’ve decided to elope (congratulations by the way!), it’s time to pick a date. The great thing about an elopement is that you can usually pick any date or day of the week without having to think about making it work for other people. You just have to find a day that works for you and your partner and that’s it!
So, here are some ideas for picking an elopement date:
- Do you want to elope on your anniversary?
- Is there a specific date that is special to you as a couple?
- Is there a specific date that is special to either of you as individuals?
- Is there a specific holiday you love (Halloween, New Years, etc.)?
- Is there a specific season you love (Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter)?
You can pick any day or time of year that you want, so think through some of the questions above, and look at a calendar to get some ideas. It’s your day to make your own so just find something that feels right for the both of you and go for it!
Helpful tip: If you want to work with a specific vendor (like a photographer for example) or if you want your friend to officiate, you may want to check their availability as you decide on the date of your elopement. You can usually find another vendor or officiant if you need to, but I wanted to mention that before moving on to the next step.
4. Where Are You Going to Elope?
You’ve decided to elope, you’re getting ideas together about a date, now the planning really begins. Where do you want to elope?
A great thing about eloping is that you can elope almost anywhere! You can elope in the middle of a national park, on a beach, in the middle of New York City, in your backyard. The possibilities are endless!
But, with so many options, how do you pick? Here are some questions to get some ideas flowing:
- Are there any special places for you and your partner?
- Examples: Where you had your first date, where you took your first trip, etc.
- Is there any place that has special significance for either of you?
- Examples: A favorite family vacation spot, a family cabin or lake house, etc.
- Are there any places you’ve always wanted to go?
- Do you love the mountains, the country, the beach, or being in a big city?
- Do you want to be able to easily visit this location in the future?
- Is there somewhere close to home that would work?
- Examples: A park, a botanical garden, a hotel, etc.
Hopefully these questions can help get some ideas going for you! And as you decide, just make sure to keep weather and time of year in mind, especially if you’re thinking of an outdoor location.
Another thing to consider is busy season. If you want to elope in New York before Christmas or Miami during Spring Break, just know that travel costs may be higher and there may be a lot more foot traffic than normal.
And if you want to stay closer to home but don’t want to do a courthouse ceremony, there are still so many options. Are there any places within an hour or two of where you live? Maybe a really beautiful park or garden? Maybe rent a house in the countryside, a cabin in the mountains, or an AirBnB by the beach?
One benefit of something nearby is that you and your partner can visit on your anniversary or take a special weekend trip and relive the moment whenever you want, which can make the memory even more special.
For my husband and I, COVID canceled our original wedding so we were scrambling at the last minute to try and decide what to do. Our photographer actually recommended a park that we had never heard of that was just 40 minutes from our house, so we drove out to see it, and loved it. So don’t forget to ask your vendors (if you have any) or family and friends. They may know of some great places too.
5. What Is Your Budget?
Now you might be thinking, “What do I need a budget for? Elopements are supposed to help me avoid all of that.” Well, whenever spending is involved, it’s good to have a budget to keep costs in check.
For example, will you be buying new outfits? Will you have a photographer? Do you need to buy wedding bands? Does your elopement require travel reservations? Will you go to a nice dinner afterwards? All of these things cost money, so it’s just best to have a number in mind so you don’t spend more than you’re comfortable with.
So, how much do you have to spend or how much are you willing to spend on your elopement? Or, this may help, what’s the number you don’t want to go over?
Maybe you don’t want to go past $500, $2,000, or maybe you want to go all out and you have a really big number in mind. Regardless, sit down with your partner and see where you both feel comfortable financially, see what funds you have available, and then use that to guide your decisions.
As we all know, costs can add up quickly if you aren’t keeping track, so it’s always good to have a budget to make sure that you don’t spend more than what’s financially comfortable for you and your partner.
6. Who Is Going to Be There?
After having the money talk, this is probably the biggest dilemma when it comes to eloping so it’s best to get it out of the way before you get too far into planning. Will you be inviting any family or friends to share in the celebration with you?
Traditionally, elopements are just the couple, but you can do whatever you want. Are you going to invite your parents? Would you like your siblings to be there? Maybe some grandparents or close friends? This will be a moment for the two of you to express your love for each other and commemorate that love, so the decision is yours. Just make sure to do whatever feels best for you and your partner.
My husband and I decided to not invite any family and friends to our elopement. It was just the two of us, our photographer (who was also our officiant), and her husband (who was our witness). For us, we really wanted to have this day and this moment to ourselves. And, we were still planning on having a wedding eventually, so for us, we really wanted this day to just be about the two of us.
Although that sounds nice and romantic, some family members didn’t feel the same way. So if you do decide to elope just the two of you (like we did), just know that some family members may take the news harder than others. Some will understand, others may not, so just be prepared for that in case it comes up.
But as a reminder, marriage is a union between two people, and as you’re embarking on this new journey, you have to make the decision that feels best for you and your partner. As long as you and your partner are on the same page, that’s all that matters.
7. What Vendors Will You Need?
One benefit of elopements is how simple and easy they can be, but you may need or want some vendors to help bring it all to life. Some examples of vendors could be:
- Officiant (required in most states in the US)
- Photographer (optional, but I highly recommend it)
- Hair & Makeup (optional)
- Videographer (optional)
- Planner (optional)
- Florist (optional)
- Caterer/Restaurant/Bakery (optional)
- Stationery (optional, for invitations or elopement announcements)
Officiant
The first, and most important vendor, is the officiant. Almost all states require an officiant for a wedding ceremony and require their signature on the marriage license, so make sure to look up the requirements in the state you’re getting your marriage license.
Witness
In addition, most marriage licenses require a witness signature. If you’re having guests at your elopement, then this is no problem. But if it’s just going to be you and your partner, you will need someone to sign the witness section of your marriage license.
Photographer
Another vendor I would highly recommend would be a photographer. This is a day that celebrates your love and commitment to each other, and it would be great to have pictures to look back on over the years. The day also goes by so quickly, so pictures will really let you relive the day over and over again.
Helpful Tip: Some photographers are actually ordained to officiate weddings, so if you’re thinking of having a photographer, you can ask them if they’re ordained and if they’d be willing to officiate. And if not, they can definitely sign as the witness to the ceremony.
Additional Vendors
Now, other than an officiant, all of the other vendors I have listed above are optional. You can have your hair and makeup done on the day of. If you want a cake, you could obviously contact a bakery. If you want a bouquet or boutonniere, you can contact a florist.
And if you’re looking to make your elopement a little more elaborate or have a very specific vision in mind, you can hire a wedding planner to help you out. For example, if you want a floral arch and a sea of candles surrounding the aisle, you probably don’t want to set that up yourself, so planners can be a huge help for more elaborate plans.
But, for the most part, you just need an officiant and a witness, and the rest is all up to you!
8. Make Your Reservations
Now that you’ve decided the where and when and have vendors in mind, it’s time to reserve everything.
- Reach out to any vendors you’d like to work with and see if they’re available for your date
- If they are and they seem like a good fit, reserve them for your special day
- Book any hotel or travel reservations (if needed)
- Let family and friends know about your plans and when/where everything will be taking place (if you’re inviting any guests)
- Research your elopement location to see if you need a photography or wedding permit (some National Parks or Botanical Gardens require them) and apply for the permit if needed
And please, take it from me, reach out to vendors and family and friends as early as possible. Even if you think it’s too soon, it’s not. Especially if you’re interested in a specific date, you’ll want to start reaching out right away so everyone can plan accordingly and be prepared.
9. Pick Out Your Wedding Bands
Once you’ve started making your elopement plans and reservations, remember to pick out wedding bands too! It can be an easy detail to forget, so make sure to set time aside to go wedding band shopping and pick them out before your elopement.
And if wedding bands aren’t in your budget at the moment, you can always skip them for now or look into alternatives like Enso Rings. At the time of our elopement, we couldn’t afford both of our wedding bands, so we purchased my husband’s wedding band and I continued to wear my engagement ring. We also bought silicon Enso Rings to wear to the gym or while running errands, so I wore that or my engagement ring until we purchased my wedding band. This also gives you time to save up for your wedding bands if needed and can give you more time to search around for what you want.
If wedding bands are in your budget, just make sure to start shopping early in case anything is out of stock or needs special sizing. Also, if you want a special inscription or a special design, that may increase the delivery time so just make sure to start your search early.
10. Get Your Marriage License
Once everything’s reserved and you have a date in mind, you’ll need to get your marriage license before you elope. To get your marriage license, you will most likely need to take a trip to your County Registrar or County Clerk’s office. Once there, you and your partner will have to fill out an application and have it processed. The County Registrar or Clerk will also need identity verification documents, so make sure to look that up before you go and take the documents with you.
The County Registrar’s office will usually give you the license right there on the spot, but some places do require you set an appointment in advance, so I’d recommend researching the process for your county ahead of time. I’d also recommend getting your marriage license at least a couple weeks in advance just in case.
Helpful Tip: Some marriage licenses are only good for a certain amount of days from the day they’re issued (90 days for example), so make sure to not get it too far in advance. A lot of marriage licenses need to be returned within 10 days of the ceremony, so remember that as well when it comes to mailing it or turning it back in.
11. Pick Your Outfit & Accessories
Okay, you’re almost there! You know when and where you’re going to elope, you’ve booked everything, you have your marriage license, and now it’s time for the fun part! What are you going to wear?
Do you want to wear your dream wedding dress or maybe a really cool white pantsuit? Will you go casual or formal? Do you just want to wear something you already have?
For our elopement, my husband wore a suit he had in the closet and I found a really cool wedding dress online at Lulus and ordered some earrings and a veil from Untamed Petals. I couldn’t find shoes I liked so I just went barefoot during the elopement and brought some sandals so I could walk on the rockier parts of the park. I think I spent about $250 in total, and loved what I wore, because it felt like me. And that’s the most important thing. Wear something that feels like you, that you feel comfortable in, that you feel your best in and it will be amazing!
Now, if you’re going to buy something new, I would recommend starting your search early. As soon as you start getting ideas together on dates and locations, start thinking of what you want to wear. As we all know, sometimes the outfit we imagine doesn’t end up working once we try it on, so just start trying things and seeing what you like.
And if you are searching for your dream wedding dress, definitely start your search right away and make appointments at every bridal salon you can. You can also try places like Mumu Weddings, BHLDN, and Jenny Yoo for some really cool wedding dress options that ship quickly.
12. Final Details
We’re at the final details now! I know this seems like a lot, but I tried to include every small, little detail I could think of, so here are a few last minute questions:
- Do you want to get your hair and makeup done on the day of the elopement? I mentioned this earlier but wanted to mention it here too in case it slipped your mind!
- Do you want to get your nails done? If so, make an appointment early.
- Are there any family heirlooms that you or your partner want to have with you during the elopement?
- If your plans are outside, do you have a Plan B in case of weather or any other issues?
13. Enjoy!
You’ve done it! You reached the end of this article and you’ve hopefully successfully planned or started planning your elopement. Once everything is booked and reserved, you have your outfit, and your plans are all in place, sit back with your partner and just take time to enjoy the moment.
Even while you’re planning, take time to just enjoy the process. It can feel like a lot when you’re going through it, but in actuality it will go by so fast, so just remember to take some time and enjoy it all.
You’re about to embark on this next stage of life with your partner. You’re surrounded by love and support. And you’re about to celebrate your love and commitment in such a beautiful way. Make sure to enjoy it and know that no matter what you and your partner planned, it will be beautiful!